Oh February…. a month filled with the promise of Love and heartache.
I was prompted to write this today because last night a dear friend of mine confided in me that his wife had just left him. Not due to infidelity but rather personal circumstances on her end. Not the news I was expecting to hear from him and I am certain he wasn’t expecting it either. Many tears followed and the constant deafening question of why and how?
Why didn’t I see this, why didn’t I know, why didn’t she talk to me, why why why? How could she, how will I move on, how will I get her back?
Ultimately… who the fuck the really knows, but her? He may never know the whys and hows and that is just something he will have to endure and he will. In times of such heartache, acts of desperation usually follow. Love can make you do some crazy shit. I think we can all agree on that.
My most requested work is about love, getting it, keeping it or breaking it. We all want to be loved, wanted and desired. These are feelings that cannot be provoked by a third party or bought. Yes I can help ease your pain, help clear the path for open communication and remove obstacles. But to make someone love you??? That is not love. Love is organic. No different than a secret lover that wants her man to hate his wife. These are major emotions that cannot be forced upon someone.
Its time to accept, surrender and learn to let go. Do this for you. To carry a burden so great, so heavy, so painful is more than anyone should have to bear. But we do, we all have. This is something we all have in common. We have all shared a broken heart and its fucking painful and time stands still. We cannot possibly imagine our life being full again.
Often people reference their lost love as a soul mate or twin flame and that is the reason they continue to chase their own tails. To work endlessly to “win” them back.
I call bullshit on this. Do I believe that this person was/is your soulmate? Sure I do. But I also believe we have many soulmates. Some we will meet and love and some we may never know in this lifetime. Some will stay and some will go, and some of us will have the same one our whole life.
Love is meant to be easy, uncomplicated. It shouldn’t hurt and it shouldn’t be hard or a challenge to keep. Let them go and give yourself a break and wipe those tears and snot off your face and start loving yourself again.
Love yourself hard. I don’t mean having bubble baths, I mean doing all the things you love and surrounding yourself with people you love and that love you back. Be your best self, take care of yourself physically and spiritually. Start living a happy life. Wear your favorite things, go to your favorite places, play your music loud. And no sappy crap either.
Loving yourself this way, will heal you and only you can ultimately do that. And when you least expect it, love will knock on your door once again.